
It had been a long day. We were returning to Le Havre, from Paris, down the river Seine. It was a rainy Sunday, so there had been very little traffic on the river, and we had managed three locks and 105 km before we arrived at the small yacht club at Vernonnet. The yacht club’s visitor’s pontoon is situated in a picturesque park near the Vernon Bridge and an old mill. I moored Jomima to the pontoon and noticed a well dressed French family group, standing on the bank, pointing towards the river and looking anxious. As I tiredly went to connect our electricity supply, they approached me and spoke to me in French. I replied, in my best school boy French, by saying, “Parlez-vous anglais?”. They now looked even more anxious and spoke quickly amongst themselves. Mother, dressed in a smart black suit, approached me and said in stilted English, “My father is dead”. Then, after making the internationally recognised sign for sleep by tilting her head onto her two hands placed together, she pointed towards the river. Next she pointed towards my dingy on its davits and said, “You help please?”
I immediately had a vision of her father floating dead in the river but decided that the police would be here, if it was that serious, and called Ann to ask if she could clarify the situation for me. I am always keen to improve Anglo French relations so, after holding up ten fingers and saying, “Dix minutes”, I proceeded to lower the dingy, pump in some more air and prepare the engine for starting. After a few minutes, Ann returned and said that she thought that they wanted to scatter her father’s ashes on the river and wanted me to help them do so. This seemed an unusual request, but not as onerous as looking for his body, so I asked Ann to give three of them life jackets so that they could come with me.
After lowering the dingy, and starting the engine, Ann again approached me but this time with the boat hook in her hand. She then added, “You were nearly right the first time, they have already dropped his ashes in the river and they are now floating slowly downstream in a box. They actually want you to retrieve them so that they can scatter them properly!”
I was joined in the dingy by the lady’s husband, son and daughter. The latter spoke quite good English and explained that one of her grandfather’s last wishes was that his ashes be placed in the river at Vernonnet, which was near where he had been born. The four of us then set off in pursuit of a blue box floating down the river. I managed to retrieve it for them and, with a screw driver they had bought with them for the purpose, they loosened the lid of the box containing grandfather’s ashes. Once we had returned to the chosen site, they tried unsuccessfully to sink the box. As all sailors know, wood floats. It therefore proved impossible to sink the box, complete with the ashes. Various remedies were discussed, including loading the box with stones to make it sink. Finally, the son-in-law unceremoniously removed the ashes from the box and dropped them over the side in their black bag. I return to the river bank, at a funereal pace, and solemnly let them step onto the pontoon. They all carefully shook hands with Ann and me before stepping off the pontoon. After a brief discussion we were asked to pose in front of our boat and dingy for a photograph to be taken. However, before leaving, the daughter said, “Thank you for helping us to retrieve my grandfather. We would not have wanted to leave him floating around like that.” He is probably up there laughing at what happened.